A Problem Halved
by Cat in the Closet
Summary: "I saw your light on," Joseph said. "And I kind of think we're all up for the same reason." (AU where everyone is alive, inspired by Beckon's "Break Your Plans", x-posted to AO3)
1. Chapter 1

It's the first time since STEM that Juli tries to sleep, when she realizes that she can't. Exhaustion had set in on her body, of course, but none of that felt like actual sleep; more like fainting. Juli would be perfectly lucid one moment and the next, someone would be shaking her awake because it was time to share her story again. By the time she got to her own apartment, Juli was hardly aware of the need to sleep. That was hours ago.

Juli lays away, staring at the blank whiteness of her ceiling. Her alarm clock blinks red light at her, telling her that it's 2:34 AM (and Juli has to remind herself, over and over, that the red light is far too dim to be those monsters.) The time would have been fine if she had only just laid down, but she had originally tried to go to sleep at eleven. That was three-and-a-half hours of listening to the plumbing of the building. Juli heaves a sigh and gets out of bed.

Sleep trouble is nothing new to her. Juli can count her truly good nights of sleep on one hand. Either she's up too late, too early, or she doesn't sleep at all. When Juli got older, she started indulging in pharmaceuticals: caffeine pills, Nyquil, and Benadryl, all to try and regulate her sleep schedule. She almost had a good schedule established- down by 10, up by 6- but now…

Juli walks around her room, taking in details. It's mostly devoid of personal touches. The money from her job was never her motivation; it had been belonging and purpose, things that she couldn't put a price tag on. As a result, the lavish furnishings that usually went with Mobius' salary were absent from her apartment, and the money just accumulates in her bank account. Juli did make it a point to buy some basic home items: a solid white blanket; a black cube end-table that served as her nightstand. Functional furniture, in neutral tones. Nothing that proclaimed "Hello, I am Juli Kidman, and this is my residence!" Not like her parents' home, with the hand-me-down quilts and religious iconography stacked wherever it would fit. Or like Sebastian's desk, strewn with dirty mugs and half-crumpled paperwork.

Juli wonders about them. Her partners. Her fellow victims of STEM. Is Joseph awake, staring at the night sky, begging for sleep? Does Sebastian see Ruvik staring at him from every mirror, the same way Juli sees Mobius' administrator?

On the nightstand, her phone starts buzzing. Glowing. Juli picks up.

"Kidman."

"Hey." There's a pause, just short enough to still be comfortable. "It's Joseph."

"Joseph."

The last time Juli saw Joseph, he seemed weary but content. His voice had been weak but pleasant. Now it had gained some of its strength back, but reached out tentatively.

"Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I couldn't sleep."

His voice is pure relief when he sighs and says, "Me neither." There's the sound of a throat clearing. "I don't think Sebastian is sleeping much either. I live only a few houses down, and his lights are still on."

Juli leans against the window, looking out over Krimson City. There are dots of light in other buildings. Some are blue from a TV. Some are the tell-tale dim white of fluorescent bulbs. Traffic lights, street lights. And somewhere in the sea of glass and copper wire, Sebastian Castellanos is still awake.

"So what are you saying?"

"I know it's a little inappropriate." He pauses. "It's actually _really_ inappropriate, actually. But I'm not sure any of us should be alone." In half a whisper, he added, "I know I shouldn't be."

Several responses came to mind, some coldly flirtatious ("What makes you think I'm alone?") and some just plain cold ("Tough luck. Bye.") The three of them were beyond banter and boundaries. Something horrible had happened to them in STEM, and they were the only ones who could understand it.

"What's his address? I'll meet you there."


	2. Chapter 2

Unexpectedly, Joseph's directions lead her to the third floor of a brownstone several blocks away from Juli's own address. Part of her can still see Sebastian as the family man, living in a house with a manicured lawn and white picket fence. The All-American dream, somewhere in the suburbs, but with Sebastian still being Sebastian. Maybe the window boxes had a few cigarette butts in them, but in Juli's mind they also had marigolds that Sebastian might have watered out of habit. There are no window boxes on the brownstone; just Joseph holding the door for her.

He leads her up two flights of stairs and humid air, stopping in front of a door marked "#10" and a worn-down index cared in a laminated holder that reads "S. Castellanos." Joseph knocked three times on the door, and they waited. There was a shuffle. A pause. A sudden breeze as the door swung open. Juli had never seen Sebastian in anything less than a waistcoat, and he looked almost indecent in a T-shirt and grey lounge pants. He gave a bleary-but-sober look.

Joseph skips the usual hellos and preamble that usually came with a 3 AM visit. "I saw your light on," Joseph says. "And I kind of feel like we're all up for the same reason."

"I don't wanna talk about it," he murmurs. His voice slurs with sleeplessness, which Juli considers a step-up from slurring with booze.

"You don't have to," she says. In truth, she's hardly ready to talk about it either. "We just thought you might want some company." Using 'we' sounds strange to her, but no one corrects her.

Sebastian stares at them for a long time. Juli is half-afraid that he's going to close the door on them, leave them out in the hall with their coats draped over their arms. It's a pleasant surprise when Sebastian steps aside and ushers them in.

The inside of Sebastian's apartment is simultaneously just like what Juli expected and nothing like it. The mess is there. As they pass through the kitchen, Juli notes the specifics it. The detritus of daily life- receipts, paper cups with varying amounts of coffee, the occasional crumpled shopping bag- occupies most of his counterspace. At the same time, the carpets in his living room are well-vacuumed and the air smells of laundry detergent.

"Getcha anything?" Sebastian opens the refrigerator, frowns at the contents, and closes it. "Coffee?" Juli shakes her head. Joseph tells him, "No, thanks." Sebastian shrugs and joins them in the living room.

The only seating available in the living room is a beige couch, facing a fairly nice television. Juli takes a seat on one side of the couch. Joseph takes the other. Sebastian settles in between them. It's quiet. No one wants to talk, but no one needs to talk. The way that Juli sees it, they aren't there for group therapy. They're just there to wind down enough to sleep. At the same time, they may as well be strangers for all the conversation they're having about absolutely nothing.

Among the pens and shotglasses that clutter up Sebastian's coffee table, there's a remote that Juli mindlessly grabs. She turns on the television and starts flipping through channels, hoping to find something to fill the silence.

Juli keeping climbing the cable network, bypassing anything involving a man in a dark suit. No Wall Street reports, no sports network commentaries. She stops briefly on a cooking show where someone is shucking corn. The next shot is a lamb leg, marinating in a dark red sauce. Sebastian takes a slow, deep breath. Joseph quickly vetos it: "Next."

They keep going. Movie channel, cartoons, sitcoms, and a music video all go by in a blur. Juli pauses occasionally on some things, but either loses interest or one of the others calls "Next."

Juli stops on the weather, where a woman in a yellow blazer is talking about a cold morning tomorrow. She prattles on, smiling with big white teeth. The smell of Sebastian's apartment- coffee and clean laundry- has Juli in a lull. On the other side of the couch, Joseph slumps forward. Juli is afraid that he'll rear up, blistered and cackling. The thought feels like a shot of adrenaline, and she stares at him expectantly. Instead, he emits a soft sound. A snore.

Sebastian smirks. "He's got the right idea."

Juli remembers looking at Sebastian and nodding. Her wide eyes evoke something in him to make him reach over to her. The last thing that Juli recalls is Sebastian's gaze on her as his hand rubs her shoulder before she falls into a fitful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Juli wakes up splayed over an unfamiliar lap to the sound of a harsh groan and a TV clicking off. She shoots into an upright position, both for the sake of her spine and her dignity. The fast movement nearly takes her head off Sebastian's lower jaw. A sharp snort with aspirations of a snore, a click of a jaw, and Sebastian is awake. He rubs the back of his neck where an absolute monster of a crick must was forming, Juli was sure. Across the length of Sebastian's lap, Joseph slept on. His head was drooping onto Sebastian's shoulder. His glasses had come off during the night- either fallen off, or taken off- and he looked more peaceful than Juli could ever remember having seen him.

Sebastian gently moves Joseph's head so it rested on the back of the couch. With the same harsh noise that woke her, Sebastian stands and heads for the kitchen. He lets out a growl that might have had a "Good morning" in it somewhere. There's a clatter of cupboards and the darkly aromatic smell of coffee wafts through the apartment.

Juli's bladder clenches. "Bathroom," she asks, half yawning. Sebastian points to her left. Two doors, both ajar, but only one with tile flooring. Juli strides in to relieve herself.

Washing her hands, the cool water wakes her up somewhat. She had fallen asleep, which was fine. Maybe Joseph had been planning for them to all fall asleep there; maybe that was even was Juli had wanted. What she hadn't wanted was to fall asleep in Sebastian's lap. It was innocent and unintentional, sure, but still inappropriate.

"The hell with it," Juli mutters to herself, wiping her hands on a towel and stepping back into the living room.

As she emerges, Joseph is taking a mug from Sebastian with dazed, mumbled thanks. In the back of her mind, Juli finds herself wondering whether Joseph was a morning person or not. Sebastian disappears back into the kitchen. Joseph gives Juli a sympathetic smile. "Get any sleep?"

"I think so. Feels like it."

"Me too." Joseph stretches his legs out without getting up. He lets out a sigh of contentment. "I'm sorry about this, Sebastian."

"Don't be." Sebastian sips his own coffee. He tips the mug at Juli. "Kidman, you want a cup?"

"Sure."

Joseph pats himself down with his free hand, searching for something. He finds it, drawing a cellphone out of his pants pocket and checking the display. He gives a gentle groan. "Well, we're all late for work."

"I think we've earned some time off for now." Sebastian hands Juli a faintly chipped mug. Sebastian has heard how Juli takes her coffee more times than she cares to consider, and it looks like he made it the same; two creams, no sugar. Sebastian takes his coffee black, Juli knows, and he takes another thoughtful drink. "God knows who we even report to now."

Joseph begins thumbing through his contacts as Juli sits down beside him. "I can probably find out. Let me just-" Almost simultaneously, Juli and Sebastian both reach for Joseph's phone and push it down. Joseph smiles wryly. "That's a no, then."

"Technically, I don't know if I'm even still employed by the KCPD."

The gravity of everything they had been through fell over them like a veil. In a quiet voice, Sebastian began: "We'll vouch for you. You can't be held entirely responsible for what happened in there."

"That's true," Joseph continued. "Even discounting Mobius' influence on the situation, it sounds like we were seeing different things sometimes. STEM might have altered your perception, so you weren't responsible for everything."

"Just for shooting Joseph." The words came out hollow.

They're all quiet then. She's right, and they know it. Just as Juli is about to set down the coffee, thank them for everything, and walk away, Sebastian puts an arm on her shoulder.

"At the time, you thought it was right. You're allowed a few big fuck-ups in your life, Kidman."

"Kidman," Joseph mutters. "I'm fine. It's all just bruising now, and I think it's getting better. I don't think it's even going to leave a scar."

"I know. I just…" Juli bowed her head, not quite in prayer. "I'm sorry. Both of you. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Kidman, you're okay."

"You guys can…" Feeling absurdly vulnerable, Juli swallows. "You guys can call me Juli." She fights the awkward stammer that wanted to crawl through her throat. "If you want."

Sebastian nodded. "Juli. You're okay. Drink your coffee."

Juli settled back onto the couch, fitting comfortably between them. Soon enough, Juli's phone would start ringing- maybe it already had- and she would have to start answering to less forgiving audiences: The remnants of Mobius; the big brass of Krimson City's finest. At the moment, Juli has coffee. She has around seven hours of hours of sleep under her belt. She has two people in her corner. It's more than she's had in years.


End file.
